Welcome To My Life
by Novelist Pup
Summary: Itachi can't stand emo teenagers... Parody of the music video for 'Welcome To My Life' by Simple Plan.


**Welcome To My Life**

The ultimate music video parody thought of by my friend when I was insulting her favorite song. Savin' Me **is** about prison sex, so I'm right. I hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, and Simple Plan belongs to… Simple Plan, I guess. **

* * *

"_Checking in on traffic on the I-85 leading into the city… Looks like traffic is backed up due to a severe case of **EMO**…_"

Itachi promptly turned the radio station, not really needing anymore pressure than he already has. Itachi woke up late, forgot to put on his nail polish, he's late getting Sasuke to school, and traffic is backed up thanks to a bunch of angsty kids who want to take their own lives but can't do just for the sake of spreading more angst around the world.

He does not want to be late for work because of some crap. If the emo kids really want to die, he'll gladly run them over on his way to work.

And then he heard it. That voice…

"_Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place?  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you"_

Itachi looked up from his windshield and saw that Hyuuga boy on the roof of a building. What was his name? Uh, Nazi, Neri, Neji! Neji was on top of a building singing. He's probably the cause of the emo traffic…

"_Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you screaming_"

And then, from various cars, the teenagers started to poke their heads out the window and one kid actually got out the car and started walking down the freeway singing along with Neji. Gaara, that's his name.

"_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me_"

And then more teens proceeded to get out of their cars and walk down the freeway, singing along. Itachi was stupefied; these brats know the song by heart?

"_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you_"

And then Itachi looked down the freeway… Was that Gaara behind a drum set? He saw the Neji kid holding what looked like a microphone in his hand. Is Naruto holding a guitar?

"_No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_"

And then his ultimate fear was confirmed. He didn't hear the car door open and close, but he did see a telltale mop of raven-black hair also go down the freeway. And, that was all it took to make Itachi bang his head on the steering wheel continuously. Wait—Did Neji just give him the other guitar?

"_Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more?  
Before your life is over_"

Itachi couldn't take it anymore. He didn't remember being this emo when he was younger. If only he could hurt something…

"AH, YOUTH! IT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING! THE POWER OF YOUTH IS WHAT'S MAKING THESE YOUTHFUL TEENAGERS SING FROM BOTTOM OF THEIR YOUTHFUL LUNGS!" Gai proclaimed, posing on top of his _green_ car while rainbows, happiness, and forest creatures surrounded him and then the sun started setting, when it was **_NINE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING_**.

Itachi can't take that much happiness this early in the morning. He got out his car and slapped Gai as hard as possible, got back into his car and proceeded to continue banging his head on the steering wheel.

"WHY**bang** DOES**bang** THIS**bang** ALWAYS**bang** HAPPEN**bang** TO**bang** ME! **bangbangbangbangbang**"

"_Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding_"

Itachi's forehead was bleeding at this point, so he took one of Sasuke's queer headbands that he collects for some odd reason. He gave Itachi one, but someone at work accidentally scratched it, so now there's a big line going through the leaf design.

"_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me_"

Well, they've got to stop at some point. So Itachi just turned on the radio.

That was playing the same exact song that was enticing all the teenagers and it continued where Itachi stopped listening.

"_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_"

"GOD, PLEASE STOP IT!" Itachi yelled, making everyone in the cars stop listening to the song and look at him.

"_No one ever lied straight to your face  
And no one ever stabbed you in the back  
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay  
Everybody always gave you what you wanted  
You never had to work it was always there  
You don't know what it's like, what it's like_"

"You've got to admit, they sure can sing." Itachi nearly had a heart-attack to see Kakashi sitting in the passenger seat of his car, reading his porn.

"Why are you in my car?" Itachi asked calmly, using what was left of his willpower to _not_ kill Kakashi. Kakashi just shrugged.

"You're late for work. I'm late for work. We've got so much in common, so I just wanted to keep you company." Kakashi said, grinning under his face cloth.

"You're always late for work though." Itachi pointed out. Kakashi just waved his hand towards the _still_ singing band that had every teenager who was in the car surrounding them, singing along.

"And your brother's an emo. Along with your cousin." Kakashi said back, Itachi glaring at him.

"_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down_"

Itachi was seriously considering running over those emo brats. Kakashi didn't bother him, so he couldn't kill Kakashi. Damn.

"_And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)_"

Why wasn't he singing? This song seemed like it was made for him… Oh wait, Itachi wasn't emo, he couldn't sing with them…

Itachi was **Goth**.

"_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life_"

Oh thank you GOD, they were done! Everyone in the surrounding cars started applauding. Even Itachi had to clap, it was OVER! He turned the radio on the radio to hear the traffic report.

"_Well, that little performance is over… But it's gonna take at least three hours for traffic to get moving at a decent speed. So, why not pass the time with that hit song that was played on that very freeway?_" The radio DJ chirped happily. Itachi groaned and when Sasuke got back in the car, he found his older brother slamming his head on the steering wheel.

"Aniki, you are so **emo**."

**E**N**D**

* * *

It's over. Yays, Itachi crack/angst for the soul. I hope you enjoyed. 


End file.
